This episode is all about the different kinds of inputs and advice we get as small business owners, what opinions to accept, what to refuse, and how to be polite about it.

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Welcome to The Feel Good Factor. I’m Susmitha Veganosaurus. If you’re here for the first time, welcome, welcome, welcome. And if you’re a regular listener, welcome back!

Today’s episode is about how to be discerning about…

• where to take your advice from
• whom to get it from
• what kind of inputs to accept
• and what to reject

…when it comes to your business, your products, your services.

If you like this episode, then you’re going to really like my newsletter, The Feel Good Tribe. I send out emails a couple of times a month. Go here to find out more about it and sign up. I’d love to see you inside The Feel Good Tribe!

Mother’s Day weekend – my sister and I took mom to this beautiful, lovely rooftop cafe

It was one of my favourite places for the past couple of years. I’d visit there quite often. It was run by friends too. And of course, obviously, it was fully vegan.

I’d been going on and on about this place and some of the dishes I loved there to my mom for two years nearly. So finally, on the occasion of Mother’s Day, we went there. I was really excited for them to experience the place and try out the food.

I’d been praising this really nice Sourdough Toastie. It has chickpeas, onions, creamy sauce, so delicious.

It was one of my top favourite dishes there

The place is a whole food plant-based cafe, so the food is a little different than what your normal crowd would be used to. So I’d already picked a few things that I wanted my mom and sister to try because my sister is a little bit fussy in the kind of food she enjoys. We ordered these Toasties.

One was a Chickpea Sourdough Toastie, the other was a Creamy Corn Sourdough Toastie. The corn one I hadn’t tried yet, but it sounded delicious, so we ordered that and a few other dishes.

I was very smug and confident. I’m like, no matter what they like or don’t like, my sister’s surely going to love this Toastie.

But then when it arrived, it looked very different from what I was used to

Instead of the nice, crispy wheat sourdough bread, they’d changed to some gluten-free, ragi, dense stuff. It even made the slice smaller. The dish looked a lot smaller than I remembered.

I was like, okay, fine, they’ve changed things up a bit. Let’s taste it anyway. Though, I gave a warning because ragi bread isn’t for everyone. I told my sister and my mom they’ve changed the bread, but the topping looks the same.

They tried it, and yeah, as I was afraid, though they enjoyed the topping, they absolutely did not like the bread!

It was chewy, it was dense. It was just not the way a really nice sourdough should be, with that fluffiness and the crispiness. And especially the bite that you get from gluten when you bite into wheat bread. You pull, and there’s this delicious texture to it, there’s a bite to it. That was missing, because this was a gluten-free bread.

After having built it up so much, I was really disappointed it turned out to be an entirely different dish than what I remembered

Not at all what I’d represented it as to my mom and my sister.

I’m generally an honest customer. I try to be helpful without trying to hurt the person who I’m speaking to. I don’t want to be critical, but I feel like, okay, if I can help, and if I can give some honest feedback for them to change things or add things, however I feel, I do share it.

I don’t hesitate. If somebody comes and asks me, “how was the food?”, I’ll tell them how it was, or exactly how we felt.

I find this especially important because as a person who’s run a restaurant for several years myself, a conscious vegan restaurant, I know where feedback has helped me and where it hasn’t.

As someone from industry, I feel like I should be sharing my thoughts so they can thrive and grow and continue to do well

So when my friend came to the table and asked us how the food was, I explained to her. I said, “oh, you’ve changed the bread, why did you do that? The topping is so yummy, and I’d really built it up. But now this disappointing ragi bread’s turned up. Why did you change it?”

She replied, “now we have a chef who’s learned our customer base well, and this person does a good job of cooking stuff according to the tastes of how our regulars like it.”

Sometimes without even realising, I go into advice mode, and then I have to catch myself later

I immediately said, “why don’t you make both kinds? Why don’t you make gluten-free an option? If someone wants gluten-free, they can get gluten-free. But your old bread was nicer, so why don’t you have it as an option?”

And then I stopped myself, and realised the impracticality of that. It isn’t practical because then they’ll have to make two kinds of breads and keep them ready.

So I said, “I guess making it and keeping all of it ready doesn’t make sense.” And she said, “yeah, now the kind of customers we get, they’re all looking for gluten-free, you know, that kind of food. So we make things according to them. And my chef is really good at this.” She specified that again. “My chef understands what our customers want really well.”

At that point, I paused. I looked around me. This side, that side, all around. All the tables were full. They were occupied. The entire place was completely filled up.

So I thought, wait, who am I to be giving advice? Who am I to even specify my preferences?

These people know who their ideal customer is, and they’ve tweaked and refined their menu to suit that target person’s taste

Now, if I was going here regularly, then maybe yes, I had a right to say, “no, I like this, but I don’t like this”, and whatever. But otherwise, I can share my thoughts honestly, but I shouldn’t expect it to matter to somebody to whom I’m not the ideal client, I’m not the target customer.

I also appreciated that in a very firm, polite, nice way, instead of just brushing off my thoughts on the food, my friend put it across very well, saying, “see we do know our ideal customers, my chef knows them, and I leave it up to the chef. I trust my chef enough to know what to make for the kind of people who come here.”

Right? And that’s an excellent answer. It really is.

When we run a business, or if we have a product or a service or some kind of artwork, whatever you’re putting out into the world…

When you offer something, it’s not going to be for everyone

Some people will like it, some people will love it, some people will be like, “okay, whatever”, you know, a very lukewarm reception they’ll give to it. And some people will just not like it. That’s the truth.

And it’s so important for us to understand that. Zero in on who does love it.

Who am I serving best? And how am I serving them best?

Who appreciates the work I do, enough to order from me, come back to me again and again, share their appreciation, spread the word about it, bring more people…who’s doing this?

And then tweaking and tweaking and upleveling your products and services to suit them, your ideal client. Regardless of if it’s going to upset other people.

It’s also very important to be discerning about what inputs to take from whom

Sometimes you might respect a person and value their thoughts, value what they think about you, your products, your service, your business, all of it. Or it may just be someone who’s got years and years of experience in the same industry, in a very similar kind of business.

But if ultimately your products and services are not really for them…as in, they may have the experience, but they may actually not be your ideal clientele. There may be something a little different about the kind of business they ran. No matter how close it is, or no matter how many overlaps there are, there are certain things which set you apart.

And if they don’t get that part which sets you apart, which makes you unique, which makes you special, and which is working well for you, to which you’re getting a good response, good feedback, and there’s a demand for it…Then no matter how much you like a person or respect them, no matter how much experience they have in a specific kind of business very similar to yours, it doesn’t matter because sometimes they won’t get it.

If they don’t get it, then they aren’t the right person to be giving inputs to you

It could even be that the inputs this person has given to you before, something they’ve shared, could have helped you a lot before. But that doesn’t mean every input of theirs, every single time, is going to be useful to you, is going to be the right fit for you.

So every single time, we need to be discerning. We need to think like, yes, this person’s thoughts have been very helpful to me, have made a difference in my business (or maybe in the creation of a product or a service, wherever). Even so, this particular thing they’re saying is not really something I need to consider. Because in this case, they don’t get it. They really don’t understand my ideal customer. Or rather, they’re not even my ideal customer.

It’s important to make this distinction. And then once you do, of course, there’s a way to handle it.

Be polite, but also be firm and say, “Okay, thanks. I appreciate what you’re saying, but you’re not the right person to be telling me about this.”

Have the confidence to say this. Remember one thing. If a person is genuine in their desire to have been helpful in the first place, then they’re going to get it. They’re going to get that, “yeah, probably whatever I said, this person doesn’t have to accept it or consider it or implement it because what’s best for them, they already know and they’re doing it.”

The person will get it.

So don’t be afraid to refuse advice

Refuse an input if it feels like it’s not at all right for you, that it’s not going to help you right now in your business.

And if it is someone who’ll get pissed off or who’s going to get upset, “oh I shared my advice, I’ve helped them before, but now they’re refusing to take my advice, blah, blah”, whatever, you know, ego, butt hurt…if the person gets that way, then anyway you don’t want to have a relationship with them.

It doesn’t matter because then all their help, all their so-called inputs, everything has stemmed from a place of ego. So it doesn’t matter.

Maybe some of it has been helpful, but it’s not necessarily going to be always helpful. And you don’t really need to appease this person or, you know, continue to have a relationship with them. So if they drop away, they drop away.

It’s okay, because, you know what, they weren’t your ideal customer to begin with!

You, as a person, are unique. Your team is unique. Your products, your business, your services, your ambience, whatever you offer is very particular, very unique to you.

No matter how many similarities it shares with other things, that’s only like an overlap. It’s not ever, ever…no two things are exactly going to be the same, or rather, no two businesses are going to be exactly the same, because they’re not being run by the exact same person or set of people.

So, embrace your uniqueness, do your own customer research, become more confident instead of trying to please everybody. You can’t.

We can never, never please everybody

Half of the people we can’t please, we don’t really care about. There are some people we care about. But we can’t please every single person we care about either, all the time. That’s not going to happen.

That’s just not practical!

So instead of doing that, look at your ideal customer, your ideal client. And you work on pleasing them more and more and more. Everything else will fall into place and work out.

Of course, all this, I gave you as an example, I told you the story. If at the same time, if it were a business that was empty, nobody was there, nobody was coming, they’re not doing very well. If it was that kind of a business, then probably, yeah, they haven’t found their ideal customer base and my inputs would’ve been helpful in that case.

So, look at where your business is at. How is it doing? How well are you growing?

When you try a certain thing, see the feedback it’s getting. And if nothing seems to be working well or, you know, if things are just not going all right, then it’s time to probably get a fresh pair of eyes.

Of course, someone with experience to mentor you, to coach you, to take advice from. Someone who may be able to help you from an outside perspective. How to change things up, how to zero in on your ideal client. Somebody who’ll help you to do that.

So if your business isn’t doing very well, then yes, it is time to consider this outside help. But even there, be discerning and get someone as close to what you’re doing as possible. Someone who has experience in something pretty close to what you’re doing, so that they’ll be able to help fine-tune and do really well.

Alright, that’s it for today. Talk to you again next week. Take care. Bye!

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Susmitha Veganosaurus

“I’m a Spiritual Vegan Multi-Passionate Entrepreneur. I read voraciously, find humour in most things, and believe kindness and authenticity can make this world a happier, loving place.

If my content resonates with you, join my free newsletter where I share Life and Business Tips, Vegan Hacks, Holistic Guidance, and more.

Vegan cuisine and holistic business building are my two biggest passions. If you’re looking for guidance with vegan cooking, or want to grow your conscious business with joy and fulfilment, explore ways we can work togetherhere.”

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