It never occurred to me to think of Control and Power as two separate things. Then I read Katherine Morgan Schafler’s book and my jaw dropped. Wow! Understanding the difference between them explained so much about why certain things in my business past have worked and why other things were a frustrating mess. Haha

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Hello, welcome to The Feel Good Factor. I’m Susmitha Veganosaurus and I’m so glad you could join me here today.

I’m reading this book called The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler

I didn’t start reading it because I think I’m a perfectionist or anything like that. *laughs*

It’s very funny how I got to know about this book. I was watching one of Laura Belgray’s writing workshops and in that, in an off hand way, she mentions this book. She says, Katherine has a very nice way of writing – her writing style, the craft, and especially telling other people’s stories.

So I thought, okay, let me get the book and start reading it

I love Laura’s writing and if Laura’s singing praises about somebody else’s writing, then of course I had to get it.

I started reading the book and yes, Katherine writes very beautifully. It’s very interesting. It doesn’t feel like a heavy, non-fiction book.

This kind of topic, like perfection, it could get boring or technical, right? But it doesn’t. She stitches stories into the whole narration. She shares case studies of her clients and her own experience with dealing with perfection and all of that.

As I kept reading the book, my mindset about perfectionism, the misconceptions I had about it started to shift

And I was like, wow, this is pretty interesting. I read it in batches, a little bit at a time. I read fiction voraciously, but non-fiction books, I read them in bits and pieces.

There’s one part in the book the where Katherine talks about the difference between control and power. And my mind was blown!

I never thought of control and power as a two very separate things

I never really sat and thought about the difference. Most of the time you think it’s the same thing. Having control, having power, same thing.

It’s not at all the same thing!

And the way she writes about it really made me start thinking, opened my eyes to my own behaviours. Especially from when I used to run my own brick and mortar business and have a team.

I used to feel like, hey, I’m good with my team. I handle them very well. They’re all very happy. And not just the team, but also, we had volunteers, we had interns who’d come and work with us temporarily.

I felt like, yeah, they were all happy, and things were going well

But I’d also feel like some things aren’t working out. And I couldn’t quite articulate or understand what was not working. When I read this chapter on control versus power, it all made so much sense!

There’s this small excerpt I want to read out to you from the book. The book again is The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, okay? In case you want to get it and read it to.

Control encourages restriction. Power encourages freedom.
Control is petty. Power is generous.
Control micromanages. Power inspires.
Control manipulates. Power influences.
Control is myopic. You have to plan everything one precise move at a time.
Power is visionary. It affords you the great luxury of taking leaps of faith.

The perfectionist’s guide to losing control, katherine morgan schafler

…Leaps of faith. Wow, right? It just really blew my mind listening to this difference between the two things.

I could think back on my journey as a business owner and understand

Wherever I felt friction, felt helpless or frustrated, irritated, like things aren’t were going the way I want, wherever that happened, in those places, I’ve tried to control things.

But whenever things have moved smoothly, everyone’s doing a great job, I’m also happy, there’s flow and ease, there I see that I’ve stepped into my power very confidently. Made decisions and allowed things to unfold as they’re meant to unfold.

So in your business or work or life or even creative projects, maybe even when you want to develop a habit, a new health practice fitness practice, anything, any facet of your life that’s important…

Where in that have you tried to exert control? And where have you just embraced your power and decided to go with the flow of things?

Think about the past, think about now. Think about the difference. Separate them in your mind. Separate control and power. It’s going to help you make much better decisions, be more accepting of things.

And also, just knowing the difference between control and power will make you ask every time, “Okay, do I want to control every little detail about this particular thing? Or do I want to step into my power, and then share that power with others?”

Because, as Katherine has put it…

Power is something that’s limitless. It can be shared with everybody.

Control is something that’s restricted to one person in a project, in a life, in a family. But power is something everyone can have.

So spend a little time really thinking about this. In which areas of your life can you let go of control and invite power in instead?

All right!

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Thank you for listening. I look forward to talking to you again next week. Take care. Bye!

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Susmitha Veganosaurus

“I read voraciously, find humour in most things, and I’m most in my element when I’m teaching, writing, and playing with clay. I believe authenticity and kindness are the key to a joyful world. Sign up for my free newsletterwhere I share Life and Business Tips, Vegan Hacks, Holistic Guidance, and more.

Vegan cuisine and holistic business building are my two biggest passions. If you’re looking for guidance with vegan cooking, or want to grow your conscious business with joy and fulfilment, explore ways we can work together here.”

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