We’re often obsessed with getting a thing or reaching a goal. But when we focus on the what, we’re going about it all wrong. The real questions to ask are, “how do I want to feel? Who do I want to be?”

In this episode of The Feel Good Factor, we unpack this idea of “who” over “what”. How this shift in mindset helps, and why it’s for our highest good.

Listen on the embedded player below, or on your preferred podcast player. If reading is your jam, then scroll down for the transcript. Enjoy! 🙂

“From this place of transformation, you start knowing yourself better, you start reaching for the things that are for your highest good, you start making a difference in the world…You make the right decisions, and then you’re on that right path. On the path that is continuing to support and help you be the person you have become.”

Susmitha Veganosaurus – The Feel Good Factor Podcast

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Transcript of: Focus on who you want to be instead of what you want to get

(gently edited for a better reading experience)

I launched my course for multi-passionates this week. Yay. I’m super, super happy about it. And that’s why the podcast episode is a day late this week, because I was so busy creating the sales page for my course, putting all the final touches onto it, promoting it, and sending out my newsletter.

Of course, always my Feel Good Tribe (my newsletter subscribers) are the first ones to hear about any of my new courses and offerings, so had to send them before I announced it on the podcast, or Instagram, or anywhere else. So between all those things, I got quite occupied and I wasn’t able to record a podcast episode.

Today, I’m finally feeling free, relaxed, and so accomplished because I’m done with building the course and publishing it. So now all I have to do is wait until 21st April (next Friday) when the course begins, and then just interact, enjoy, and have a great time being a part of the course, of the group. Teaching more to all the people who sign up, and just building this really beautiful community of multi-passionate people.

So the programme is a hybrid. It’s a self paced audio course, along with a mastermind community group. And there are going to be weekly live video calls too.

I wanted to make it this way because I’ve seen the power of having a mastermind community

I’ve been two over the past few years and they’ve made a world of difference in my life. So I thought, “yes, this is what I’m going to provide this time for the course members”. Instead of just creating a self paced course which is evergreen and you know, it’s running on its own, I figured if it is a cohort, if it’s a group, then everyone can share things and grow together. And the energy is so much higher, so much better. There’s so much more love to it.

So yeah, I’m totally excited about this programme. It’s called Harmonious Multi-Passionate Life.

Alright, let’s get into today’s topic – I wanted to discuss about transformation instead of transportation

That’s a very handy way that one of my teachers put it a few months ago. What it basically means is, when we want anything in our lives, whether it’s material desires or something emotional, spiritual, whatever it is that we want, it’s important to focus on who we are, instead of what that is.

Instead of, “I want this thing”, we shift our focus to, “this is the kind of person I want to be”. So, “who I want to be”, instead of, “what I want to get”.

When this shift and focus happens, it makes a world of difference. That’s because whenever we want something, finally we want to feel a certain way. That’s the reason we want it, right? And what is the way most of us want to feel? We want to feel happy, joyful, healthy, content, fulfilled, you know. We’re looking for these kinds of feelings – peacefulness, a feeling of flow and ease through life. These are the feelings we want.

We want something that’s deeper and that lasts longer, so we believe that getting a certain thing, going on a trip, achieving something at work, or getting a degree, whatever it is, a lot of us believe that’s the way to achieve that end goal of joy, happiness, fulfilment, etc.

But there is no guarantee that when we get the thing we want, we’re going to actually feel that joy and satisfaction

What is for sure is that by getting that thing we want, even if we feel happy, even if we feel joyful, even if we feel, for that moment, the sense of thrill and excitement, it’s transient. tThat feeling goes away, fades away after a point of time. And then we want the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and the cycle keeps going that way.

And if we don’t get the thing, then we’re disappointed. We have all these expectations and desires, and that affects us emotionally, mentally, in other ways too.

But instead of focusing on what we want, if we focus on who we want to be, or how we want to feel, then our feelings, our emotions are not first of all dependent on getting that external object, that external goal. All we have to do is focus on how to feel good, and how to shift things from within. You know, the inside-out approach to feeling good.

And not just how we want to feel, but who we want to be, who we want to become

Not, “I want to become a lawyer. I want to become the class topper. I want to be the best home maker”. No, not that who, but the who of, “I am a joyful, kind, loving person. I uplift spirits of all the people I meet. I make a positive difference in the world. I am a purpose filled person.” You see what I’m getting at?

So you start picturing yourself as this person. Go into all those details of who you are as a person in your day to day life. And then leave the rest of the details. What this does is…

You align yourself to becoming that kind of person even before you get the thing

So there is no, “I’ll be happy when there’s this, this, this”. But, “I am happy now. And I’m content, and I’m doing things that are good for me, for my well-being. Instead of worrying about when I’ll get something, how I’ll achieve how to reach this goal, etc.”

You’re already becoming the person you want to be, and that reveals to you whether you even want that thing you wanted in the first place. It also reveals to you why you might have wanted it. And probably the reasons weren’t the best reasons.

A lot of times we want something because we’re comparing ourselves to others

We want to go somewhere, do something, because our colleague, or neighbour, or classmate, somebody else has that thing, or has done that thing, or gone to this place. Right?

We’re comparing ourselves to others, and that’s not the right reason. And it’s not a very beneficial reason to get something or do something.

Another reason would be to meet somebody else’s expectations

Studying a certain subject because your parents wanted, or getting married at a certain age because society expects it out of you, dressing a certain way and not being your true self because you’re worried about what others will say. All these things.

You’ll want to do a certain kind of thing, or get a certain kind of achievement, or reach a certain goal because of expectations from others on you.

So instead of focusing on the thing, you say, “this is how I want to feel, and this is the person I want to be”, and then you start becoming that person and take the steps to start behaving that way.

For example, if you say, “I want to be a kinder person”, there’s nothing stopping you from being kind right from this moment.

You don’t have to say, “I’ll be kind of when this, this, this thing happens, or I achieve this goal, or I receive this particular set of things”, right? Nothing stopping you from being kind.

And kind is just one example. Nothing’s stopping you from pursuing inner fulfilment, or joy. Going inwards, making yourself joyful, making yourself feel good, and choosing things that will make that happen for you.

Instead of thinking, “okay, I will anyway feel joyful when I get that particular thing”, you stop focusing on the thing. When you focus inwards, you see that you have the power.

You have the power to transform yourself, regardless of what’s happening in the world outside

From this place of transformation, you start knowing yourself better, you start reaching for the things that are for your highest good, you start making a difference in the world.

As a result, the decisions you make will come from that point – that person, that higher self of yours, the one you have transformed into, the one who you have become. And that attracts whatever is best towards you.

You make the right decisions, and then you’re on that right path. On the path that is continuing to support and help you be the person you have become.

“In manifestation and law of attraction, we always say, ‘like attracts like.’”

So it goes that, you align your energy with your desire, and then that desire comes to you because you’re a magnet. But that’s a very simplified version of it.

The more important question there is to ask yourself, “what is your desire?” And then that desire should not be a thing, it should be the feeling. It should be who you become, who you want to be, that should be your desire.

And then you start aligning yourself to that person and become the magnet to achieve the best, the highest good for you

A lot of times, your original desires, the more superficial ones too start coming to you if they’re going to support you in being who you are. You know, that kind, loving, gentle, joyful person who lights up the world around them.

So yeah, this is what I wanted to talk about today. Think about it. Transformation, not a transportation. “Who do I want to be?” Instead of, “What do I want to get?”

All right, talk to you next week! Take care.

Transcribed using Otter