I attended my dear friend, Shasvathi Siva’s vegan wedding last week in Chennai. Apart from stuffing my face with super delicious, all vegan food, and getting to hang out with some cool people, I also had a reminder about some important things.

• 1. Life is full of new beginnings.
• 2. Nothing is as big a deal as we make it out to be.
• 3. We all have the power to be supportive just by normalising things for the people we love.

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Hi, I’m back!

The wedding I was telling you about in last week’s episode went very well! The food was yum yum yum yum. It was catered by Vijay Sweets, Coimbatore. They have something called The Green Rabbit. It’s all about doing vegan events. They do catering, event management, whatever people want, and all vegan! End to end taken care of. The catering for this wedding was done by Arvindan (who owns Vijay Sweets) and his team.

It was so clear that the bride and groom put a lot of effort and thought into coming up with that menu

You could see a lot of love and personal touch went into the menu by the caterers too. The way the dishes were prepared and everything, it was so good! Such a great experience!

And the best part was…I mean, I’m vegan, so I’m biased. I would say the food is good obviously. But there were so many people who were just regular folks, you know, vegetarians non-vegetarians, people who were just there attending the wedding as guests, and they were all impressed by the food.

So many of them didn’t even know it was vegan initially, and when they were told they were so surprised, like, “oh wow! You have such good stuff! The curds, the sweets and generally the rest of the food also.”

The curd, I have to mention this, was supplied by this local Chennai brand (the wedding was in Chennai), called Mupaal. It’s a small family run business and they’re doing so well, they’re doing beautiful work and they’d supplied the curds. Oh my god! That curd rice, the raita. Oh, it was so yummy. So creamy and delicious. I had a lot of fun!

I’m talking only about the food! haha I have to tell you a little more about the wedding itself

So if you’ve been listening to my podcast from the early times, you know, from when I started off, then you’d be familiar with Shasvathi Siva. I interviewed her in episode 13. And that episode, it’s still the most loved episode on my podcast!

Many people still keep finding it, listening to it, and just loving it. I’ve had so many people message me, even Shasvathi has had people message her, and share how that episode made a huge impact on their lives. So go and listen to it.

It’s all about her journey. After going through a difficult divorce how she flipped it around and used that to helps so many people, and make a huge impact.

Last year, Shaadu (it’s what those of us who love her call her) published her first book, Divorce is Normal

Read the book! Listen to her story. It’s for everyone. It’s for all of us, the rest of us.

It’s not necessarily only for people who’ve had a divorce or are contemplating the divorce, but mainly it’s for us. We are the audience, the rest of us who speak about divorce in such hushed tones, such muted thoughts. We think of it as, oh no, if somebody’s divorced, they’re like something different or other. That’s often how we, especially Indian society, treat them in general.

The book is for all of us. So we understand, really, you know, it’s just a normal thing. And how we can actually be supportive and sensitive and sensible in the things we say. So read the book, listen to her episode.

At the wedding – Oh my god, it was beautiful!

They had music and dance, they made so many jokes. You could clearly see her friends and her family, how much they loved Shaadu and how supportive they were. And of course, the guy was so much fun too! So sweet and warm. And his family also, we could see the warmth and the love there. It was all so nice to see, and made me so happy.

My heart just overflowed with love watching the whole thing happen

During the main event, the muhurtham when the actual wedding took place, you could clearly see the emotions overflowing from her sisters, and you know the people around her, the closest to her.

They had tears in their eyes. A feeling of overflowing love and happiness that Shaadu’s found somebody who’s deserving of her. She’s settling down into such a beautiful life!

Now nowhere in the wedding, nobody in the wedding, even gave any indication… there was no mention that Shaadu’s somebody who had a divorce and now is getting married a second time. There was nothing, no indication of it at all.

Everybody was very supportive, protective. Truly like how she’s written in her book, it was normalized. It was a non-issue. It was not even something to consider or think about.

It wasn’t acknowledged in any way, and that was perfect!

Now the reason I mention this is because I’ve attended one or two weddings before of people who’ve been divorced and then it’s their second wedding. And usually, it’s kind of muted, it’s nice, it’s a good occasion but also it’s kind of dull. They don’t make a big deal of the wedding.

It’s almost like saying, “oh, it’s the second wedding anyway. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Let’s quietly finish it off. Let’s not give importance to it.” That’s how it’s been.

That’s how most second weddings are in India, if at all second weddings happen. So it’s almost like saying that this huge, important event of finding a partner, somebody to love and spend their life with? This huge event isn’t actually such a big deal because they’ve already gone through it once. And that is so wrong!

This is why I was so happy to see the joy, the vibrancy, the energy…without being ostentatious in any way, they had a beautiful wedding. With a lot of thought put into the elegance, the decor, the family, the way they dress, the way they act, all of it.

The joyousness of it, having all the additional events surrounding it, like, they had a Mehendi, then a Sangeet evening, they had the wedding, and then those games that they do before and after the wedding (depending on the kind of wedding you have)…all those things existed. They had all of it and everybody enjoyed it together.

That really made me think about how every person, every one of us, we’re worthy of a restart, a refresh

It shouldn’t be made a big deal of. I’m not talking only in terms of a wedding or starting with a new life partner. This applies to any area of your life!

The wedding here was a great lesson to show that nothing is the end, there’s always a beginning. There are always new beginnings. There’s always a possibility. Endless possibilities.

Just because one part of our life is done, it doesn’t mean our entire life is over

Say it’s a business, something that you put your heart and soul into. You’ve nurtured and grown it, and then it closes. You don’t have to think, “oh no it’s all over!” There’s always a fresh start, endless possibilities waiting ahead of you.

Same thing with students. Such a big deal is made of students not scoring good marks. But if they’ve failed a year, it’s not a big deal, it’s nothing to think so much about! They can put in more effort and re-attempt the exam, do another year of school or college.

You know how it can be easy to not be a big deal? It’s when everybody around the person involved is supportive, and there for them.

It’s like, okay fine, this maybe a stumble in life, or something ended. If they don’t make a big deal of it, and if they’re just there for them, if they’re just supportive of them, that hope that is magical!

We all have the power to give that hope to everybody around us just by being there for them. Just by not making a big deal of things which don’t have to be made into a big deal. There are so many aspects of life like this.

Today I wanted to talk about all this because I want you to contemplate on this…

In what areas of your life are you making a big deal of something that doesn’t have to be a big deal?

And here’s a clue, almost nothing is a big deal! It’s not as big a deal as you make it out to be. You’re giving it more importance than it deserves.

Whether it’s the successes or the failures, the wins the losses, it doesn’t matter. None of it is a big deal. It’s a flowing stream, life. And we can just keep flowing through regardless of the ups and downs.

• So in what areas of your life can you let go of your attachments and expectations, and this big drama that you’ve created in your head?
• Where can you let it go?

And also, think of the people in your life around you, your friends, your colleagues, your family, whoever.

• How can you be supportive of them?
• How can you make it easy for them on their journey, if they’ve gone through or are going through an ending, a challenge?

You make it really simple for them by making it really casual.

I’m not saying you minimise their pain or their difficulty, but don’t make it seem like the world is ending

“Oh no! tsk,tsk,tsk“, you know, feeling sad for them. Don’t treat them that way. Just be there for them. Be a pillar, be strong. Then magic happens!

Beautiful events like the one I attended? Those are the kinds of results of people (lots of people) just being there. Being in the present moment with somebody, without worrying about the past, and without worrying about the future either.

So yeah, that’s it. Everybody’s worthy of fresh starts, multiple fresh starts, and nothing is as big a deal as we all make it out to be.

All right, talk to you again next week. Take care. Bye.

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Susmitha Veganosaurus

“I read voraciously, find humour in most things, and I’m most in my element when I’m teaching, writing, and playing with clay. I believe authenticity and kindness are the key to a joyful world. Sign up for my free newsletterwhere I share Life and Business Tips, Vegan Hacks, Holistic Guidance, and more.

Vegan cuisine and holistic business building are my two biggest passions. If you’re looking for guidance with vegan cooking, or want to grow your conscious business with joy and fulfilment, explore ways we can work together here.”

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